Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
