Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
