she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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