love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
