He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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