Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
