i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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