So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
