I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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