kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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