What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
