guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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