I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
