fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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