Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
