I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
