We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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