just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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