i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
