Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
