I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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