apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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