I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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