I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
