i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
