you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
