Small penises have feelings too.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
