I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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