Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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