i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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