how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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