I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No...this little piggys going to the bar
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize