and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
false alarm, still single
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
