:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
