i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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