i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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