As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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