i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
