I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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