sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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