I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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