he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
