There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
