Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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