I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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