i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
