I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I love having hate sex.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize
