Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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