the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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