the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
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Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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