Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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