By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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