Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
