I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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