Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
