I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
