I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
