It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
