I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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