Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
