i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
