Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
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