We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
