Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
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He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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