I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
