I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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