Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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