god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
