from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good