Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.