Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa