I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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