Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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