Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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